Home.

My boys and their Turkey Toes!!

Things have been crazy around here, but today was an actual day of normalcy! We napped, vegged, played, and just hung out. Felt good.

Dr Herbert called at noon saying that the lab had run the test for varicella that should have been run yesterday and the preliminary was negative (woohoo!). We see her again on Monday. Nathan starts his new job on Monday also (yes, thank the Lord he’s been off work and at home with me since December 18th!) so this will all get some getting used to – balancing a schedule alone. But, it means life is getting back to normal, so that’s good.

Here are some pictures over the last few weeks. Enjoy.

My grandma! She came to visit everyday! I loved her red sweater!

Kisses already!

Helping change .. this was the first day he was home, December 30.

Peaceful boy in the hospital, looking like he feels much better.

Our angel, Joan, in the NICU. Look at that red hair!!! Thank dad's side of the family!

He's tired of being in the hospital, too

Precious boy.

First bath at home on Thursday.

Dad with Turkey Toes night before admission to NICU

Better than cafeteria food!

He was farting on my hand ...

Rollercoaster

So the phone rings at 11:00am this morning. Just when we thought life was gaining some sort of normalcy, we were again reminded not to jump to conclusions!

It was Dr Herbert, stating that the State had called after hours last night and just "left a message" with the reception that Griffin's eye culture grew varicella virus. Yes, that's right - varicella (as in chicken pox/shingles virus). This made absolutely no sense - as none of the people he'd be exposed to had this, however varicella can cause encephalitis.

She had him come in to swab his mouth to try and confirm the varicella growth. It was confirmed with Oregon Medical Lab that this, when done STAT the report would be done in 3hrs. We got there at noon and did the swab, then Dr Pelinka came in to tell us that she spoke with a panel of pediatric neurologists yesterday (4 of them, in fact) who all were sitting around looking at Fin's MRI. They were all confused about the doom-and-gloom prognosis that Dr Goins had given us - because they were reading this as a pretty normal MRI. They reviewed the area Dr G was concerned the most about, but they were seeing it as a "normal process" of an inflamed brain from the infection process - and felt it was absolutely nothing to worry about. We have an appointment for consult in 4wks at OHSU with one of the pediatric neurologists reading the MRI.

Fin also had his echo today, being done for slight murmur noted yesterday in the office visit. The tech doing the echo said that he saw no abnormalities, though the definitive results would be ready Monday. It was reassuring to hear that there was no marked abnormalities.

So, I waited all day for a call regarding the repeat swab. At 7pm, Dr Herbert called saying she hadn't gotten the report and when she called to verify it, was told that the lab staff had already left and no one could help her. She paged the Head of the Lab, Head of Pathology and hadn't gotten a call back. She left me her home/cell/pager number as well as Dr Pelinka's #s stating that if Fin had any changes over the weekend to call them. About 15min later Dr Pelinka called me to voice her frustrations and assured me Monday morning she would be filing an incident report.

For now I'm going to go stare at him ... I'm so uneasy now not knowing what's going on and hoping his encephalitis doesn't recur. Oh - and we were given the Ok to decrease his phenobarbital dose by 1mg. Hey - it's a move downward!

Murmur

So, night #1 went well last night. Meaning, that Fin is acting like a regular newborn. He was awake almost all night. I enjoyed it actually so I could talk and sing with him. Today we saw Dr Pelinka to discuss a 2nd opinion up in Portland. She said she respected our ideas about that and would speak to the pediatric neurologist up in Portland about this case and send him all of Fin's studies. She did tell me some reassuring things:

1. While she was in residency, they were always taught that if a baby was started on seizure medication in the NICU, then they were always put on seizure meds for 4-6mo. Also because of the fact that Fin's EEG showed that he had major seizures for 24hrs, then she agreed with the fact of him being on Pheno for 6mo.
2. She would discuss at least cutting his Pheno down.
3. Although he's sleepy, she thinks that he seems pretty coherent. She thinks he's adjusted well to the Pheno already.
4. She feels that even if there is some abnormalities in Fin's brain/MRI, they will heal themselves and he'll overcome this.

I forgot to tell everyone that they isolated the bug in Griffin. The cultures grew Parainfluenza Type 2. Although this is basically the common cold, they have no idea why this caused the encephalitis that brought along the seizures. It could have been another virus involved too - or could be a weird immune response -meaning his body overreacted to a simple virus (which could be scary for later).

Nathan's cultures haven't grown anything yet, or at least we haven't heard. I suspect it would prove to be much of the same as Griffin's illness. One thing's for sure ... this was a weird, weird virus. It's amazing to think of how many different doctors are involved, as Dr Goins has also sent Fin's MRI down to University of Cailifornia (@ San Diego).

One thing that did happen today, was that Dr Pelinka found a murmur in Fin's heart she hadn't heard before. She said that she wasn't worried about it, and would normally wait and just assess it again in 1mo, but based off his recent illness she wants an echocardiogram to look at the murmur better. She said his heart is changing so much it's not uncommon to all of a sudden have a murmur with all the changes. That will happen sometime next week.

And now I'm celebrating NOTHING going on tomorrow. Mase will go to school like normal but otherwise, I'm excited that I get to pick him up from school ... something I haven't done in over a month.

news

Today was a good, but disappointing day. Finally Dr Goins (pediatric neurologist) came in to consult on Griffin this afternoon. This is something we've been waiting for since he got really sick. The good news is that he discharged Griffin to home. He's finally back home and I'm not sure - I think I'm more anxious with him home. I don't have the bells, whistles, and monitors to look at 24/7 which is probably a good thing. He has an immature suck pattern so it's scary to feed him knowing he desat'd into the 70s while feeding at times.

The bad news - well, disappointing news - is that Dr Goins feels that Fin has to be on Phenobarbital for the next SIX MONTHS. He also commented that the MRI was concerning - stating that there perhaps will be permanent brain damage from the havoc the virus reeked on his brain. He wasn't anticipating anything grossly serious, but perhaps learning disabilities, hyperactivity, etc. I don't know exactly how I feel about this, as Dr Pelinka just spoke to a pediatric neurologist up at OHSU yesterday who stated (after listening to the MRI report, his history, and EEG report) that he'd be inclined to just tapering him off of the Pheno now with repeat EEG/MRI later. He also felt that the MRI report wasn't something to be "completely" concerned about at this time. I realize that the neuro at OHSU hasn't actually "seen" Fin yet and Dr Goins has, however still feel that there was "that" much of a conflicting opinion that it might be a good idea to reach for a 2nd opinion from a pediatric neurologist up there. We'll talk to Dr Pelinka about that tomorrow.

So far so good. At least I have my boys home. There just are more stairs to climb - but taking one at a time for now.

Woo Hoo for once! Nathan was discharged from the hospital this afternoon. As though a miracle had set in, his strength and grip had regained (despite muscle enzyme changes shown on labs). Feeling pretty good, they let him leave to be with us in the NICU with Fin and so far has been doing pretty well. It’s so nice to have him back.

Griffin s doing pretty good, too. I went to my doctor appt today, and everything is moving slowly (healing-wise). Then I went to see Griffin. My morning with him started out frustrated because they had oxygen on him – stating that his oxygen desaturated to the 70s. When I looked at what was going on when his oxygen level fell, I found they were feeding him on his back. Apparently side-lying position feeding didn’t get passed along to the new nurses. Once they fed him the other way, he did fine. Dr Pelinka called and I asked her to write an official order that they have to feed him side-lying, and they did. The nurse had also said he was very lethargic and not waking up for her. But, once I started talking to him, he woke right up.

Later that afternoon, the lady came to hook him up to an EEG machine, the machine that catches seizure activity. Dr Pelinka had talked to the pediatric neurologist in Porltand who suggested doing a repeat one to compare activity. He also said that if Fin was his patient, he might just trying him off of Phenobarbital (seizure med) to see how he does – as the seizures are more than likely related to the illness rather than a chronic seizure disorder. I am hoping that they at least taper him off of it – as this afternoon he seemed very lethargic. We bathed him and he was very upset, but once we get his clothes back on we could barely wake him up to eat. I sure like to see his eyes, but this afternoon was fruitless on that front. Tomorrow Dr Goins, the pediatric neurologist here in town will be in for a consult. Dr Pelinka told me that Fin’s looking so good that depending on what Dr Goins says – he might get to go home tomorrow! If not tomorrow, probably Thursday. Let’s pray Dr Goins has good news … oh! And the pediatric neurologist said he hadn’t seen the MRI that was read with an abnormality – but said that what it was suggesting as an abnormality seemed to be something normal in premies. That was good news – but we’ll wait for the official report.

Until tomorrow …

Today.

Griffin is doing much better - he's alert, keeping his eyes open for 1-2hrs at a time. He's eating well over 2oz at each feeding, which are 2-3hrs apart, keeping above his 70cc/3hr status. He's breathing on his own - maintaining oxygen saturation mainly above 91%most of the time. He has no IV any longer, and the ONLY med he's taking is the seizure medication, which he gets now by mouth (liquid). The MRI which initially was read by a regular neurologist (Eugene has only one pediatric neurologist -Dr Goins- who is out of town until Wednesday) and it read as "no abnormalities". However, upon further inspection there were some "anoxic diffusions" which translates to a signal that there was some period of significant no oxygen. This MRI was sent yesterday to a pediatric neurologist in Portland for re-evaluation yesterday. We have yet to hear from him. Griffin remains in the NICU, probably until evaluated by Dr Goins on Wednesday.

The "not-so-reprieve" news is that Nathan was admitted to the hospital today. The day Griffin was admitted he complained of headaches, Day 2 he ran a fever, Day 3 he had muscle aches, Day 4 (yesterday) he complained of really weak hands. Today he could barely get out of bed, put on socks, hold a pencil, or walk. So he went to the doctor today who sent him to an immediate neuro consult (with Dr Wilken who has been watching Griffin while hospitalized) who said everything was checking out OK, but admitted him to the hospital for further tests (MRI, lab, probable spinal tap). She said it was likely the same germ that caused Griffin to be so sick, so maybe if we could isolate the germ causing this, we would know what infected Griffin, too, in the end helping both.

I am in a daze and all this will probably hit me next week when life catches up with me. I had to miss my own doctor appointment today - and have been showing some signs of poor healing. I needed this reality to see that my family needs me ... well. So I'm trying to keep that in mind while both being there for my family too. Where is the balance??

Keep us continued in your thoughts and prayers. Where's the vodka??

I got my reprieve

Thank you Lord for my reprieve I have been needing. Griffin is 100% a different kid today. He had no seizure activity (not even tremors) since Friday night. We got there this morning and he has had no fever (Tylenol given every 4hrs, but I think even off it he'd be OK), he was still slightly sedated due to the seizure medication, but he was sucking hard on his pacifier and "searching" for it with his head and hands when it wasn't in his mouth. I asked if it was OK to try and feed him, and when we got the OK he ate like a trooper drinking over half his bottle on the first try. Not only has he been eating, but he's very rousable when moved but not irritable. He's coo'ing again sometimes and grasping our hands and reacting to our touch, so he's starting to adjust to the seizure medication.

He had his MRI and although we didn't get the definative reading back, the tech running it said he'd done many many and Fin's looked absolutely normal.

His oxygen level off of all oxygen has been very stable - and he's pink as pink could be. He's gained almost a pound back from his birth weight, courtesy of rehydration from IV fluids.

They discontinued all his antibotics (gentamicin and ampicillin), so now he's only on the scheduled Tylenol, scheduled seizure medication (for all my medical friends, it's phenobarbital), and scheduled antiviral medication (Acyclovir). Dr Herbert is not only a great pediatrician but also on the Infection Disease board at PeaceHealth - so we couldn't be in better hands. She says that Fin will be on Phenobarb for "weeks" even after discharge. I guess better safe than sorry.


I held him all day and he's doing just what he needs right now - rest. I'm hoping he stays stable and *maybe* he'll be moved from the NICU early next week. Time will tell.

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts. I've gotten many emails of encouragement and reassurance and although I might not answer them all, I want to thank you all for everything ... I will keep you updated as time goes on.

more tears ....

Well, today didn't turn out how we expected. We were expecting to get to the hospital and see our boy fatigued, but doing "ok". Instead, today was a turn for the worst. He had eaten at 7am real well. Nate and I got there around 9am and while I was holding him, I caught him seizing. Earlier that morning, he had a period of no breathing for about 45 seconds, but came out of it.

The seizing continued all day until they confirmed they were true seizures, which wasn't until about 2pm. He had one big one where he stopped breathing, turned blue (O2 sat was 34%), and had to be resuscitated by the respiratory team.

They got him started on medication to prevent the seizures and after the 3rd inital dose his seizing stopped, except for a few tremors that aren't being registered on the EEG machine as true seizures. It seems they're mainly stimulus-induced. They considered moving him to OHSU in Portland to be more closely monitored, but after a consult with the pediatric neurologist, it was concluded that all was being done right here, and if need be they could tele-conference with the docs in Portland.

The consensus is that this is still all viral and the seizures are just a (wonderful) side effect of this that has caused some encephalitis which is causing the seizures. Right now he's stable on the seizure meds, his oxygen level is good, and he's resting (minus the scheduled Tylenol and needed movement from the nurses). Nate started running a fever at 3pm, so now he's sick, which diminishes my support, but we'll make due.

I will close now as I need some rest because I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. Fin has an MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning and praying to God that turns out OK. I struggled with leaving, but realized I needed my rest if I was going to get/stay well. I'm calling around the clock for updates and they'll call me if anything were to change.

PLEASE keep the prayers coming. My faith is really tried right now as the more I keep praying the more scary things become. I'm ready for a reprieve.

*tears*

I wanted to let you all know that Griffin is very sick. He started getting sick yesterday and by 11:00am today he was in the Neonatal ICU (NICU). He has an unidentified viral/bacterial infection causing respiratory distress and fever. So far luckily they've ruled out RSV, pneumonia, and influenza but we're still waiting for a few tests to come back. They did a spinal tap and the culture will take a few days to get back - but the preliminary result showed no meningitis.

The neonatologist assured me that this has nothing to do with the fact he was born prematurely as his lungs were fully developed prior to this infection. The problem is that everyone, including Nate, Maysen, and I (along with multiple other family members) have come in contact with him since birth. With little/no immune system he was bound to catch something. That is where my guilt comes into play, but I can't beat myself up about it.

So far he has gotten off of oxygen and is breathing on his own without help. His fever is stabilizing and the IV fluids have helped tremendously. Tomorrow morning they're moving him down to the pediatric floor and hopefully if he continues to get better at the rate he is and all the tests come back negative, he'll be able to come home (God willing) on Saturday.

We've had one rough, long road so (again) I ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It's all in His hands now and I've never felt more vulnerable and desperate.

He's Here!

Griffin Vaughn
12.27.2007 @ 2:13pm
Weight: 8lb 12oz
Length: 21" long

I'm so glad surgery is over!

All I do is eat and sleep!!

Happy Family!

Of course there is lots to this story I'll get into later. I went to my doc appt on Thursday 12.27.07 and although my BP was acceptable, it was still elevated so we decided to end my pregnancy (hooray!). That was decided at 10:15am and he was born at 2:13pm. Although he was just over 3 weeks premature he is perfect in every way - especially lung function - and he's the size of a full-term baby! I was in the hospital Thurs - Sunday and so far things have gone well as far as Fin is concerned.

I did great while in the hospital - I was so thankful that the pain I experienced was only a fraction of what I had with Maysen. I was up walking almost pain free, no IV, no catheter, and happy 18hrs after he was born. I guess I thanked my lucky stars too soon, because the pain got progressively worse. I decided I'd work through it and went home Sunday. I had my followup appointment yesterday to get my staples removed and once they were removed we discovered the culprit of my pain: seroma which has inhibited 2" of my incision to close and requires would dressings twice a day. I had this a bit with Maysen. Although it's not serious, it is annoying and somewhat painful when I first get up, which requires narcotics to keep things tolerable. I'm also on antibiotics to prevent any infection. I'm frustrated because I'm back to going to the doctor every 2 days to check my incision. But, when I look Fin in the eyes, it's more than worth it. Griffin had his doctor appointment yesterday, too, regarding his slight jaundice. The doctor said he was looking better, and we didn't need to do a needle stick. He has lost 10oz since he was born and Friday we have to go back and do a week-old weight check.

Tomorrow my dad and Jo are coming up for a bit. They're crossing the Siskiyou pass tomorrow evening so pray for no snow and safe conditions. They'll be here until late weekend. I'm thankful they're close because they met Maysen when he was 5mo old and they'd missed out a lot. We've also been blessed with lots of family around that have loved coming over and coo'ing over Griffin. I have a great family who want to be so involved.

Nate is home for the next few weeks - which is a God Send because of the fact I can't do much. It's nice having family time with just the 4 of us now.

Will write more later. Wanted to get a few pics up, though. Please check the rest of them (I have tons this time - didn't get many with M so we compensated) on my Flickr account.

Another successful holiday season down. It’s amazing how you run the marathon for a month, and before you know it, it’s all over! We had a great season this year. Christmas Eve I had a short run to the hospital so I could do my non-stress test and BP check. Once that was complete (and good) we went over to sis-in-law’s house for dinner and presents. This year we decided to just buy for the kids – and that was great. There’s so many of us now that we’d all be broke feeling like we had to buy for everyone. Aunt Danielle bought the boys suits of armor. The sword fight was fast and furious. They had a great time!

Robin, my other sister-in-law, is only a couple of days ahead of me in terms of gestation. Our original due dates are only a couple of days apart!

We went back home so I could rest for an hour then we were on our way to Nate’s mom’s house. My sister came with all of us – it’s so great that Nate’s family not only accepts me into their lives as their own, but they accept Jenn, too, just because she’s my sister. Maysen had a great time but the kids were about fried at this point. Believe it or not, Maysen had a harder time staying patient between present opening – so he started helping Grandma hand out presents and was actually more content being the Helper than he was at opening his presents!

Maysen was over-exhausted and cried during his whole bath. It was then my idea to bundle him up and go outside to see if we could see Santa up in the air. That was a soother-idea and he bought it. We came in and laid out the cookies and milk. There was a bit of an “incident” with MY Christmas cookies so I had to grab spares from Danielle’s house. Jenn, Maysen, and I baked the night prior and I was starting to hurt so got a bit side tracked. I forgot the baking soda and after 13 min of being in the oven, discovered nothing but a melted-dough mess on the sheet. (Unfortunately didn’t grab the camera for that … too much evidence).

I woke up earlier than everyone else Christmas morning. I was afraid Mase would get up and see the presents and I wanted to watch him see them, since this was the first year he really understood the meaning behind the “theory” of Santa. We finally went and woke him up – only to be greeted with “I don’t want to see my presents”. Oh really?! Well, after 30 seconds of thinking twice he was ready for action. The first thing he saw was his dump truck – that he had seen previously by accident and we convinced him it was Grandpa’s “tool” he had left behind a few weeks ago.

One of the gifts we’d been very excited to give to Maysen was his drivable race car. He has been driving the neighbor girls’ Barbie car, so it was time he got his own. We bought him a STOP sign – hey, we’re teaching him early. So we put that up before the garage door and I said “What’s this stop sign doing here? Who stops at stop signs?” … “CARS!” and then he opened the door and saw his car. He was so excited, it was priceless.

I can say that I’m more prepared for Griffin to show up any day now because I feel like now I can focus on him and not be distracted by other events going on (ie: holidays, etc). Today we got our tree taken down and the house back to “normal”. Thanks to Papa and Sherrill taking Mase to Portland today, Nathan and I – er … wait, I’m on bedrest (eh-hem) NATHAN got the whole house cleaned. I think we’re prepared. I have my doctor appointment tomorrow – and I have a hunch my BP will be up. So, again – if you don’t hear from me, you know that our Baby Griffin is here and I’ll post as soon as I’m allowed.

Please view my Flickr site for full Christmas 2007 pictures.

I passed!!

Seems my BP is cooperating these days ... so I passed my visit yesterday. I do have to go to the hospital on Monday to have a non-stress test but I don't have to see her or anything, just show up and do it. Merry Ho Ho Ho to me! But then I see her again Thursday next week. She made a comment how things are looking good - perhaps I could wait until 38wks. HUH!? Everytime I see her I feel like we're on the same page, but then I realize that she's on a different complete book everytime I see her. Very emotionally exhausting. God, speed this up!

My doctor requests my presence in her office at 8:00am tomorrow morning. Who knows, could have a baby tomorrow if my BP isn't cooperating. Such a strange feeling having so much ride on something so out of your control. If you don't hear from me, that's what happened - and Merry Christmas early!

NO BABY!!

So, amazingly enough, NO BABY today. Can you believe it!? Upon going into my doctor appointment (after getting mentally prepared, packed, and having the “brother” talk with Maysen) my BP was fine!! My doctor was off today (apparently upon giving me my ultimatum she forgot her day off was Wednesday), so I saw Dr Reilly. Nathan and I were both totally shocked as we were expecting to head to the hospital. So here I sit again – on the downhill grade of a roller coaster – a really unfriendly roller coaster. If any of you know someone who can reverse voodoo, let me know because I’m convinced I have a wicked spell cast on me! I am so emotionally exhausted right now, only because I’ve been all over the map for the last 3 weeks. Dr Reilly told me she’d talk to Dr Freidman today and have her call me because she assumed “.. she’ll just call you to schedule a delivery date.”

So far no call. My BPs have been stable all day and Christmas is right around the corner. So, “my” plan is to wait and see if she calls me tomorrow (which she’s off tomorrow, too). If she does not call me, I’ll ring her office Friday afternoon and we’ll discuss setting up a delivery/surgery date hopefully for December 26th. She told me she wouldn’t let me go past 37 weeks (which will be December 28th) and since her office is closed until December 26th once we pass Friday, that means no more office visits.. I’m convinced it’s the pure office visit that makes my BP rise. I’m just sorry to all my family and friends who, like me, are on pins and needles waiting because it has been a wild, wild ride so far. One that I’m ready for it to be over!! I’m not questioning things, as I’m sure this is all God’s will, I just wish the emotional crazy roller coaster is over soon.

Last night we put our ginger bread house together (or “candy house” as Maysen calls it) – one last thing I wanted to do as a 3-person family. It went really well, actually. In the kit you get from Costco they give you TONS of candy and pre-made icing (aka: glue). We were done with a bin still full of candy (thanks to this, one 3yr old wasn’t asleep until 11pm).

Last week Maysen had his first school Christmas Program. His part lasted 5min but it was perfect. I smiled so big the whole time and we were all so proud. The first song he was sort of Aw-Struck, but he warmed right up into the 2nd song with the help of Christmas bells to ring as hard as he could. It was so much fun – looking forward to many more of these!

*Sigh* So, believe me. This baby-thing is no sad attempt to keep some of you coming back (like a pathetic soap opera ploy of demonic presence in one of the main characters, or who's baby is so-and-so pregnant with). I truly hope that Griffin is born soon and will keep you posted as I get new info - because at this point it seems to be a 48hr by 48hr type of melodrama.

Hello?

So, where have I been? Well, I'll tell you. In the hospital! I have been there since Friday morning. I had my Dr appt on Friday and my BP was 180/110. Admittedly I was totally freaked out and full of anxiety, as I had already hospitalized me 3 times prior, and I was really frightened I'd end up back there. And I was, despite all the prayer to calm me down prior to my BP being checked.

I struggled all weekend with having to be there. It was so difficult. Some would think "TV, Books, relaxing in bed, what's the big deal?" Well, let me tell you. It was one of the hardest thing just making it through 3 days. Mainly because my BP was PERFECT upon admission and remained that way for the entire time, my non-stress tests were perfect (being done twice daily) and all my labs were fine. So it was hard on me only seeing my family for about an hour a day, the hour in which Maysen couldn't have cared any less because he was not happy being restrained in the room.

On Saturday, Dr Lee (who was covering for Dr Freidman) actually discharged me because I was so stable, but Dr F actually called him back to tell him not to let me go (GRRR). So, this morning when she walked in, I pleaded with her to let me go home as I'd be much less stressed at home. She finally caved this morning on one condition: That I come back in on Wednesday to have my BP rechecked and if it is as high as it was on Friday, then she's just delivering me that day. I will be 35w4d pregnant.

I struggle with the idea of having him early simply because I have major anxiety going into her office. At the same time I understand that just the "ability" of my BP getting that high is dangerous. And the reason my BP can get that high is related to pregnancy, so for the health of me - it's better to just not be pregnant at this time. I am praying that "if" I have to deliver on Wednesday then I'll be able to go to my hospital of choice - the one I was at for the last 3 days. The only thing, is that they have no NICU there if (God forbid) Griffin has problems. She had told me she wouldn't deliver at that hospital any sooner than 36wks (even though their policy allows delivery at 35wks) then she would make me delivery at SH hospital. It's OK - you should just see MCW hospital - all the rooms are private, whirlpool tubs, microwave/refridge, quiet. SH is busier, cramped, no guarantee of a private room, etc. So, it's in God's hands at this point as I realize I (in reality) am not controlling all of this.

Right now just for the next day or so I'm enjoying being home with Maysen. Tomorrow we're doing a gingerbread house and getting some quality time in. Nathan quit working officially for RealPro today; his last day was supposed to be Friday but in light of events, he just wrapped up today. So, he's working from home for W (his side contract job) until he starts working for his new company in Jan. So theoretically he's "off" until Jan 15th, working from home as little/much as he wants.

One blessing is that if this baby comes Wednesday then I will be home for Christmas. I was starting to get anxious that I wouldn't be home for Xmas due to a) recovering from CSection still or b) still being "Monitored" through xmas. I just hope and pray that Griffin is healthy, despite being a month early. Please keep us in your thoughts on Wednesday!!

Updates

So, yesterday I had my appt. Take one guess. Yep! Ended up in the hospital for a few hours to monitor BPs. My non-stress test was perfect, my labs were perfect, but because my BP had been 154/98 in the office I had to go. She told me to just hang in there until 36wks, which will be next Friday. At this point I can tell you we will for sure have Griffin in our arms between December 21-28 - which is in just a few weeks!! On one hand, I'd like to just have him on Dec 21 which will be when he turns 36wks; however then I'm likely not going to be home on Christmas. I hopefully can talk her into waiting until right after Christmas. I've been very excited for Xmas this year because Maysen is "getting it" and I really want to see his face on Christmas morning.

Nathan got a new job - I've been waiting to say something until he had his paperwork. His new boss is amazing and told Nate he would let him come in and work just one day in December so his health insurance started sooner. He has chosen this "one day" to be December 26th, so my ideal birthday for Griffin would be December 27th, just one day shy of 37wks.

I had my ultrasound today ... and get this. He is 34w3d old - and he weighs 7.5lbs already!! I couldn't believe it. His measurements are that of a 37w6d baby - 3wks ahead of where he is. So, we have a big boy here! I can't imagine going full term with him - he'd be 13lbs!! My next appt is Friday so I'm hoping to know more then as far as when we could be scheduling this surgery.

Yes; so Nathan got a new job. He wasn't completing what he had hoped at his job he's had since July. He accepted a position as a more senior software engineer at a more established company in Eugene and felt it would be a better career move for him. I agree. Although he hated leaving a job he'd only been in for 6mo, he felt it was important to our family and I agree. His last day at his current job will be December 21 (if we don't have a baby on or before that day) and his new job is allowing him time off to be with the family and he starts January 15th. That means Nathan will be home for 3.5 weeks with us. Thank the Lord how that worked out!

We moved our office out of the spare room to accommodate the nursery. We now just work on our laptops if needed, and our scanner has yet to be hooked up so I can't post the CUTEST ultrasound picture. Fin's head down, and his head is in a pocket where his hair is sticking straight down. He's got a baby mohawk already! So cute!

I also changed the look of Fin's site ... check it out if you have a free moment.

On a last note, tomorrow is Maysen's first school Christmas Program. Mase has been getting treats because he is one of the only ones who really belts it out on stage. It's neat hearing him sing songs I remember singing in school. Will be posting video on it after the program tomorrow.

What I hear right now: "Come on Baby Brother, lets play trains ... OK! Lets go. Lets fix the tracks because it's broken. That's fun brother ... CHOOOO!" This is going to be fun!

Fin's nursery and recipe

I didn't update about my doctor appointment on Friday. I (for once) didn't get admitted on Friday. I relaxed in my recliner during my non-stress test and my BP came down to 142/70 which allowed me to come home. No protein in my urine - thanks to bed rest. She confirmed she is going to deliver Griffin at 36-37wks, which is in about 2 weeks. I am hoping to stay at home and out of the hospital until she decides to deliver, but it'll probably be an appointment-by-appointment thing, which my next one is Tuesday. One thing's for sure - Griffin will be here either right before or right after Christmas. Our little Christmas Bee!

This weekend was spent going 100mph again (Nate, not me. I watched - which is just as exhausting!) Knowing that we could have a baby in a matter of days depending on how things go put us in gear to get Griffin's nursery done. We've been putting it off and I'm such a "preparer" that I like things done and in order (some call it OCD).

Nate let me sleep in today while he and Maysen made French Toast. We got started on this nursery yesterday. Nate put all the pieces together and Maysen conquered his fear of the drill. Such a proud look when he said, "Dad and Maysen fixed this!" and pointed at the dresser. I love that!

As you can tell, we've chosen a firetruck theme, which so far has been fun. What I'm excited the most to try is the video monitor that is perched above the crib. It's actually pretty cool!

Maysen has new light on this Griffin business. He's realizing that there is a baby coming and it wasn't until we got out the baby car seat that he wanted to revert to the baby. "I'm baby Maysen!" He's even climbed up into the crib on occasion. This could be interesting, as he's insisting already that we move his bed into Griffin's room. This is going to be fun, I think.

I apologize for not putting this up sooner, but I've had a couple of people request the recipe for the caramel I made, so here it is:

1/2c butter
1c brown sugar
1/2c whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla

1. Cook butter and brown sugar in a heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until sugar melts.
2. Stir in whipping cream; Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Let boil approx 30 seconds.
3. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla; Allow to cool slightly.
4. Serve over ice cream or with fruit, such as apple slices. Or pour into jars for gifts. Makes about 2 cups.

Ho Ho Ho

Last week before all this bedrest stuff started, I made homemade caramel to give to neighbors, teachers, friends. It turned out really well, and was extremely simple. Finished off with wire bows and some tags, they're ready to go! Let me know if you want the 4 ingredient recipe.

*sigh*

Well, I think I'm running a competition for how many times I can be hospitalized prior to delivery. Yesterday I had my appointment/recheck. I was anxious to talk to her about my prior hospitalization (because I saw the on-call Dr) but when I checked in, she was at the hospital and there would be a delay. "Ok," I thought, "that'll give me a chance to relax before she comes." Well. They take me back and hook me up to the monitor. No baby heartbeat. Then we'd hear it, but he'd move. We did this for 20min. They like about a 20min record of the heartbeat to watch for irregularities, but we weren't even getting 20 SECONDS on the monitor. The nurse looks at me and says "Well, we might have to send you to the hospital for monitoring if this keeps up." *GULP*. Just then another doctor walks in, says she'll be talking with me since Dr F was at the hospital and asks the nurse if she's taken my BP. Well, she hasn't and now I can feel it out the roof in light of all that's going on at this point. Sure enough! 162/94 (for those that don't know, normal BP is 120/80) That mixed with inability to keep him on the monitor landed me BACK in the hospital last night. She also told me that my protein/urine came back from last week at 298, which is diagnosable as mild pre-eclampsia.

I got there, and my BP did come down a bit, but not as much as it had on Friday. It was running about 140/78 on average. They drew stat labs, which all came back OK - even better than last week, which is good. They released me after about 3hrs, but the nurse did "advise" me to pack a bag because I can "skate by for now" but will eventually be kept permanently until delivery. Dr Franz, who was covering, said that they would probably delivery me at 37wks, which is the week of Christmas. Is it ok that I'm starting to sort of panic??

Many have asked how strict and complete bedrest is going with Maysen. I have a great family!! My sister-in-law is picking up/dropping off Maysen at school on Wed, Thurs, Fri mornings. I called the school and they're letting him stay for lunches so he'll be gone from 8:15-12:00 and I won't have to make lunch. Then the school called and offered to let me bring him on Monday mornings, too. So, I have all morning alone and free 4 days a week except for Tuesdays. He does pretty good at coloring and watching cartoons (which I hate all day), but now that he'll be going to school 4 mornings a week, that will get him out of the house and doing stuff rather than sitting at home.

On a humorous note, I'm teaching Nate how to take blood pressure. I know, crazy. But it's hard for me to do it manually. Last night he did rather well, but kept forgetting to let out the air, so my arm is blue and he just starts walking off stating what it is, and I'm like "Uhhh..." Then he lets the air out too fast and he's all "Oh! Ohhh!!" :-) Funny Mr Nurse.

Pregnancy-Induced Hypertension

This is one of the pictures we got while on the Polar Express with Maysen. It was magical to see his eyes light up. He loved it!!
I had my OB appointment on Friday. I had to see the on-call doctor this time due to my OB doc being in NY for a conference. I LOVED Dr R, the on-call doc. She was great. They hooked me up to the non-stress test machine and she came in to look at it. Of course everything was fine, but again my BP was really high. So she took me back to the room to recheck it. No change. So she made me lay down with "O" magazine from her office. 10min went by and here she comes again. Sure enough - still no change in my blood pressure. So I had to be admitted to the hospital. I understand the legality. If I have a 170/100 BP written in the books that didn't resolve, then they can't legally let me just go home. So, to the hospital I went. Within an hour of being there, it was down to 112/60 and stayed there for the next few hours I was there. Luckily after lunch since my BP was stable I got to go home with strict orders for bed rest. Dr R was very clear that this wasn't an option and "..if that means you have take-out every damn night, no laundry gets done, your house is a wreck, you feed your 3yr old Popsicles all day ... then that's what it means!" So ... I'm home and trying to stay still. The protein in my urine was down drastically on Friday so I'm waiting to see today if it's gone. I have a feeling that it was so elevated last week due to dehydration from having the flu. We'll see.

Here's my frustration: It's documented that at home resting my BP is fine - perfect if I stay "being good". It's when I get up, hustle around, go nuts, etc that it spikes. They are having me come to the office twice a week to check up on my blood pressure and make sure there are no ill effects .... BUT the only reason it's high when I get there is because I've not been resting (like my orders) when I have to go twice a week. And this isn't just a 20min ordeal. I have to get ready, I have to M ready, drive 30min to the babysitters, drive to their office - all on a strict time schedule, get there only to hike it across the office to the bathroom to leave my sample - then they hike me up on the table to strap the cuff on my arm. Frustrating. So they want me to stay home and rest so my BP stays down, yet they want to see me twice a week to check on my high BP that's only high because they make me go in there. So, I'm not sure what to do ... but I feel like I should say something. My labs are stable ... my BP is stable at home resting ... my non-stress tests have all been fine ... so why am I having this BP spikes twice a week because they make me go in there? Wouldn't it be healthier to keep me resting at home? So .. this is a question I will pose today when I see my doctor.

Yesterday Nate got the spare room/office all cleaned out and put in the garage. The carpets are going to be cleaned this week, so this coming weekend we'll (Nate) be putting the nursery together. Need to get that all ready to go. I have to tell you how amazingly fast this pregnancy has gone. I can't believe that in about 1mo I will have another son. At times I sit here sad because my life with only Maysen is going to change - and I feel sad for that. But after reading EJ's site, it reminds me that my heart will only explode with love for both my boys!