Tuesday, October 14, 2008

frustrated karate-mom rant...

Some hunches I have formed about my son's instincts, thoughts, and motives have been validated over the last week. The first couple of weeks Maysen was in karate, he was doing great! He listened, was intent on learning, and was excelling. However, the last week or so has proven frustrating. All along, Maysen has seemed to instinctually pick out who seems to be a bit soft-spoken/weak as far as assistant instructors. When he is assigned to them, he literally will take them for a ride. Why? Because he seems to know who he can get away with things with. And he does! They do not discipline him, set him out, or even use a firm voice with him. Last Thursday he had the assistant instructor running circles around him: "Now Maysen, pleas- you've got to st-, Ok, sit down please, Mays--". Then at one point he ran and opened the fire escape door which houses a very questionable 100yr old fire escape on the other side. Nathan and I were floored and Nathan stood up to remove him from class, and the instructor R told him to stay behind the line.

When the main instructor, K, has Maysen on Tuesday nights, Maysen has never started acting up with him until tonight. I had gone early tonight to discuss discipline with K, because when M is at home and pushing my envelope he has to be "reminded" of listening, paying attention, minding, and respect. K's philosophy is that children at the age of 3 don't need or shouldn't be "that structured". He said he would never use "You need to ..." with a 3yr old. I had told him when Maysen would act up during swimming lesson's, A would pull him out of the water and make him sit out. K cringed. Then class started and K got a first-hand look at what I was talking about. Maysen was opening containers, climbing stairs, laying on the ground, not listening. K at one point was like "oh my goodness!". He actually said "I think he's done" about 10min before class ended. Luckily Mase got back on track and did some boxing. After class, K admitted that perhaps Maysen needs a bit more strict approaches, and K did start being more firm with him during class.

Right now our idea is to keep Maysen out of classes on Thursday since it's the end of a 3-day stretch of school and then karate is at 6:00pm. He's likely just fried on these Thursdays. Our other idea is that only one of us will go (minus Griffin) to the class. Right now we all go and I'm not sure how much of it is show for us, but the instructor feels at least one parent is there for support. I also plan to try and give Maysen a nap on Tuesdays (this will likely end in blood shed because he hasn't taken naps since he was 18mo old), but perhaps if he's rested, he will perform better.

It's just embarrassing. Here he goes to school 3 days a week and no problems (of course we're not there). He listens, he minds, he is respectful. Then he goes to karate for 30min and can't follow directions, running around like a loose chicken, falling down on purpose, out of control! So, maybe he doesn't like karate? I asked him and he *loves* it. I just think he acts that way because he's ran his intellectual-Maysen-tests and has figured out how far he can go without getting into trouble there and with whom. Maysen watched when Nate was told to stay behind the line and things got worse, surely because he's thinking, "Haha, not even dad can stop me" And. He's. 3. Scary! It's embarrassing because although he's an "energetic" child, I have control of him at home and I about go nuts watching him act this way at karate.

If I could, I'd be saying something along the lines of, "MAYSEN! Get up off the floor *right now* and by the count of 3 I want you on those steps watching the rest of the kids until you decide you want to do karate." And there would be NO "I think he's done" with 10min left of class. He'd sit on the bench until class was over ... bored. Not this free pass to go home because he is not listening. He would totally respond to that and know "Oh crap, this lady means business". K (who also has his degree in Early Childhood Development) did say, "I gotta tell you, you have one smart and bright little boy there. I learn from him just about every week." Most kids aren't concocting plans like he is ... But we'll do it their way and hope that Mase just starts to respond, otherwise I'm going to pull him out of karate for a year or so. It's disrespectful to them and distracting to the others. Not to mention a waste of my money for him to run a muck. There's my ranting escapade regarding karate.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Leslie,

How much do I relate to this? I definitely feel your pain.

Love to you,

Rochelle

Leslie said...

I'm glad to hear that S is along the same lines as Mase. :-) I haven't seen you forever! Miss ya! How are the kids??