I could save myself a lot of breath during the day if I only recorded the following and played it all.day.long. It would sound something like this:

"Maysen stop, please get down, don't touch his face, put that down, I said STOP, MAYSEN, ONE.....TWO....., I said no, go pick that up, STOP, calm down, inside voice please, stop-don't, listen to me, look at me, plea-- oh great it's broken...ONE....TWO...........................Time out!"

There are other versions available but I think you get the point.

I will end on this note: Maysen went to give me a raspberry on my Xd-old non-shaved leg (I'm not admitting anything on the X amount). All I hear is, "OUCHHHHHHHHHHHH. Your leg bit me!" Ha! That'll teach him.