Hello?

So, where have I been? Well, I'll tell you. In the hospital! I have been there since Friday morning. I had my Dr appt on Friday and my BP was 180/110. Admittedly I was totally freaked out and full of anxiety, as I had already hospitalized me 3 times prior, and I was really frightened I'd end up back there. And I was, despite all the prayer to calm me down prior to my BP being checked.

I struggled all weekend with having to be there. It was so difficult. Some would think "TV, Books, relaxing in bed, what's the big deal?" Well, let me tell you. It was one of the hardest thing just making it through 3 days. Mainly because my BP was PERFECT upon admission and remained that way for the entire time, my non-stress tests were perfect (being done twice daily) and all my labs were fine. So it was hard on me only seeing my family for about an hour a day, the hour in which Maysen couldn't have cared any less because he was not happy being restrained in the room.

On Saturday, Dr Lee (who was covering for Dr Freidman) actually discharged me because I was so stable, but Dr F actually called him back to tell him not to let me go (GRRR). So, this morning when she walked in, I pleaded with her to let me go home as I'd be much less stressed at home. She finally caved this morning on one condition: That I come back in on Wednesday to have my BP rechecked and if it is as high as it was on Friday, then she's just delivering me that day. I will be 35w4d pregnant.

I struggle with the idea of having him early simply because I have major anxiety going into her office. At the same time I understand that just the "ability" of my BP getting that high is dangerous. And the reason my BP can get that high is related to pregnancy, so for the health of me - it's better to just not be pregnant at this time. I am praying that "if" I have to deliver on Wednesday then I'll be able to go to my hospital of choice - the one I was at for the last 3 days. The only thing, is that they have no NICU there if (God forbid) Griffin has problems. She had told me she wouldn't deliver at that hospital any sooner than 36wks (even though their policy allows delivery at 35wks) then she would make me delivery at SH hospital. It's OK - you should just see MCW hospital - all the rooms are private, whirlpool tubs, microwave/refridge, quiet. SH is busier, cramped, no guarantee of a private room, etc. So, it's in God's hands at this point as I realize I (in reality) am not controlling all of this.

Right now just for the next day or so I'm enjoying being home with Maysen. Tomorrow we're doing a gingerbread house and getting some quality time in. Nathan quit working officially for RealPro today; his last day was supposed to be Friday but in light of events, he just wrapped up today. So, he's working from home for W (his side contract job) until he starts working for his new company in Jan. So theoretically he's "off" until Jan 15th, working from home as little/much as he wants.

One blessing is that if this baby comes Wednesday then I will be home for Christmas. I was starting to get anxious that I wouldn't be home for Xmas due to a) recovering from CSection still or b) still being "Monitored" through xmas. I just hope and pray that Griffin is healthy, despite being a month early. Please keep us in your thoughts on Wednesday!!