Plastic HooHa

Before y'all flag my site for pornographic material, pause and read full post before doing so. CAUTION: Adult discretion is advised!

So, growing up "Camping" to us was the "stay in the RV, make s'mores, shower every night, clean bedding, leave your shoes at the door, come in and watch a movie"-Camping. When I married into the S family, I quickly learned that I was very jaded in my views of what this term really means. I heard the words "no shower, tent, blow up mattress? HA!, nuts and berries for dinner, water filter" .. wait, WHAT?! You mean .... homeless? I soon learned that this was "fun" for the S family and being the new member in, I'd better think this was hunky-dory as well. That was, until I wasn't so fresh in the family and just said what I felt, and that was there was really no cold day in hell I'd be participating to that level.

To show some sportsmanship, we visited REI, which is a really neat/fun store. However, as we're mingling through the $8,388 sleeping bags (which I learned you needed a $2489 fancy cover called a "bivie" to go over this ridiculously expensive zippy blanket), I stumbled across the above "item". Unfortunately Mase was with me and he spotted it just as I had, except in the store, the front of the box actually shows a lady wearing it, in an illustrated form. I heard it. "Momma!! What's that???" ..... beads of sweat start to form as I know what this appears to look like, but there must be a more reasonable explanation. Finally I have to read that it simply is for the "convenience" of women for urination. This way, they don't have to squat in precarious positions to pee. Ohhhhh, I see ..... so jacking the tube out of your zipper as you let 'er flow standing up would sure make me more happy to be a woman. Ahh, the conveniences out there for us ladies these days!! And in a way, I totally get it and there probably are some women who swear by these, but to just stumble onto something that looks like ... well, a makeshift plastic penis, if you will, was quite shocking. I left the store with 3. (kidding).

On another note, Nate told me today that as of next week he has ALL of Friday off now. Up until now he's been working long hours during the week, and only going in for a few hours Friday morning. That's been nice, but with gas $4/gall, the commute time to the office for 3hrs seems silly. So, he's going to work 10hrs all week and then he gets a 3-day weekend every week! I've told work that I'm really free a lot of Fridays, so they've been asking me to do some triage which is fun to get back and dust off the nurse hat.

Today was one of those days I was glad that I "have" to work tomorrow. It entailed a lot of poop: Maysen picking through dog poop, pooping on the floor to watch the dog's reaction (we all know what that was), "wiping" consisted of leaving a 2 ft "extra" of toilet paper, and just as I was picking up Fin I hear "thump-thump-thump", then passing breeze. I turn in time to see toilet paper in mid air whip around the corner as I hear squeals of delight, "I've got a wipe tail!". Thank goodness for my neighbor who relieved me of my duties after hearing my tales of woe. I got a 45min nap. I love Jackie!

With that, I must prepare for work, as it is 1am. Until next time ....

PS: Happy Birthday, Jess!! This is really what I got you for your birthday. Oh, and can I borrow it, too?? Do the pee-swap. That is, unless you want to constantly wear it? Hehehe, ok. I'm losing it now. Love ya birthday girl. Hope you had a good one!