If only I was missing some teeth.

Last summer I got on a kick of painting. I had painted accent walls in both my bedroom and my bathroom. I needed one more room to paint, or so I thought, so I proceeded to paint the kitchen back splash wall. I was almost done - finishing up in fact one weekday morning. I was fighting the boys to stay out of my hair while I got it finished. I was losing the battle quickly and then I thought of it:

Redbox. Movie. 2hrs of peace and quiet.

Unfortunately we don't have a Redbox in our small town, but we do 10mi away. I figured we'd grab drive through and a movie and head home and I'd for sure get this painting done. Since I woke up and just started painting, let me give you the visual:

I had "sleep" still all over - my face, my hair, hairy armpits and legs, no brushed teeth, hair astray. the boys were lucky to have Cheerios thrown at them while I painted, so yes, as we set out on this adventure they were still also covered in sleep and still in PJs at 11:30am. I was wearing paint covered tank top (that, admittedly was a bit too small, so who knows how much belly was showing), holey capris, no bra.

"Can we take the dogs? Pllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeeeee?"

Hey, you pick your battles, right? Maybe they were sensing my weakness, but they asked at the right time and won. The dogs were going.

I reserved a movie ahead of time so the time I was out of the Tahoe and actually in public view was very limited. We got to Walgreens and of course EVERYONE had to get out. Everyone but the dogs. Panicking that I'd run into someone I knew, I was trying to speed the process up. Finally ... movie in hand, "GET IN THE CAR!" to the boys, and I stepped off the curb.

Greeting me at the window were the ever-so-happy-dogs. So happy, in fact, that Willy had jumped up onto the window console waiting for our return.

As I reached for the door handle, I heard the worst sound of my life.

*Click*

Yes indeed. Willy had inadvertently locked the Tahoe doors with one mistaken paw. With panic I looked around to the side. Surely the boys made it first before he locked it..

"MOM! UNLOCK THE DOOOOOR! ITS HOTTTT!"

You've got to be kidding me. The Tahoe at this point was still running. My cell phone was inside as well. On star! Maybe my On Star still works! But that meant we had to go ....... INSIDE WALGREENS. No shoes. No bra. Pajamas. Paint. Sleep everywhere. Stink. Goood Lord.

I was directed to the back where the photo center is and the woman behind the counter is dialing the numbers for me. So just as she's dialed OnStar for me, I'm having to interrupt her to type in the prompts. "Excuse me, can you dial 1?" .... "Now 2; woops, now I have to start over can you redial?" You get the picture.

Meanwhile the kids are going crazy. they've found the pit of gigantic 4ft bouncy balls and are bouncing them isle to isle. Bread is being knocked onto the ground and between my "push 1, please" I'm yelling "Put that down ... (damnit) .... Hi ... can you hold just a sec ... I SAID TO STOP THAT NOOWWW!" People are starting to glance around and notice me and my dirty-feet children.

My OnStar ran out 5 days before the incident. FIVE DAYS. And if that wasn't enough, because I said there were dogs in the car, they transferred me to the police department. Yes, that mean they're sending out Sexy Sgt Shaffer to help me with this crisis.

A wine bottle shatters, the blue ball bounces up into the air.

GET OVER HERE NOW! I'm surprised the arm didn't come completely detached from the child as I placed them on the ground at my feet.

On a hunch I ask Maysen to go back outside and see if willy has unlocked any of the doors. He runs full speed out the store like a thief with a stolen candy bar.

I'm hoping he comes back with a smile on his face. But alas he comes in, there is no smile.

"Nope. Still locked...........................(and just as I deep sigh and lose all hope I hear it) ...... but there's a window down now."

WHAT!?

Down goes the phone and I run out of the store with both homeless-looking boys behind me. Sure enough willy had rolled down the back window.

"Ouch!" yells Maysen as I lift him up and cram him into the 6" opening.

"Oh, you're getting in there ....squeeeeze!"

the lady beside our car is snickering. Lady you have no idea. Never again, folks. Never again.