Bond between Auntie & Nephew

Kisses ...


... and the contact. Because lip kisses are gross!

Some pictures around the yard ... spring is here!!


Gotta love the drive-thru brownies


Can you tell we live next to the ball field?


Jenn and I went out to King Estate Winery near home



To our surprise, we discovered an old 1800 cemetery right off the grounds of the winery. It was a jackpot for me!!!

We had quite an exciting weekend this past weekend. My sister Jenn was here for a visit. Saturday afternoon between downpours we shot photos in the backyard (check ‘em out on my Flickr site). Then Jenn “had” to show me her newest favorite movie, Cloverfield, so we headed to the $1.50 movie theatre and saw it. It was good – a mix between Blair Witch Project and September 11.

On our way home we got dinner and proceeded to our quiet little suburb. We rounded the corner down our street and noticed something small crouched on the sidewalk as we were driving by - it was a small little girl. She was naked except for a tiny pair of panties on and she was crouched down in a instinctual self-preserving fashion as the 40F rain poured down. I stopped the van and before I could get it fully stopped, Jenn and gotten out and was approaching the girl. As Jenn reached her, she leaped into Jenn ’s arms. She was cold and shivering, but content. I parked the van and put her in Maysen’s car seat and started a movie. Long story short, the girl belongs to the people who’s dogs attacked Bailey last month. Apparently this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. DHS got involved and I believe she went with them that night. The mom finally came out once the boys noticed the cops and blamed the boys for “letting” her get out while she “took a shower” (no wet hair, apparent no shower).

Levi, the same officer whom we dealt with in Bailey’s case, was on duty so that was nice. He told me he would keep me updated on what would happen with them. I have yet to hear what happened, but I know Levi isn’t back on shift until Wednesday. He kept us very up to date on what was going on with Bailey – even stopping and talking with Nate only 20 minutes before he got the call about an abandoned child on Saturday (which was us). Levi later joked he just needed to give me a badge. I have mixed emotions for feeling bad for the kids of that family, and feeling good that we did the right thing, and possibly made a huge difference in the kids’ lives. At least I would like to believe that …

On another note, I’ve talked before about my sister-in-law, Danielle, and her annual auction she puts on to raise money for the Christian school her kids (and Maysen) are in. They’re working toward building a new building for the school – instead of just being in the basements of 2 local churches. It’s a great cause, and I’m hoping to win the lotto to get that accomplished. Well, one thing she includes in part of her auction is donations for scholarships for kids who want to go, but can’t afford the tuition. We had a woman donate a keyboard – and although it’s almost new, I don’t think that’s something we can “auction”. So, I got the idea of a Scholarship Fund Garage Sale, to be held annually at the end of each school year. All proceeds will go toward helping people finance their kids to go to 5Cs. I felt good about that decision. Now the craziness begins!!!

Today and tomorrow Nathan is taking an Engineering class put on by Weyerhaeuser. They flew the teacher out here from Denver. He has a light week because of it, only working half days Thurs/Fri. Tonight, Nate’s supervisor is taking everyone from the Engineering class and their spouses out to dinner tonight along with the teacher. I actually get to endure a NIGHT OUT AMONG ADULTS? The world must be ending … something’s going to happen. Ooo! Maybe I should buy a Lotto ticket since the jackpot is near $230mill. Nah, it should be fun. I’m usually uncomfortable around crowds of people – especially those I don’t even know. But, I’ll order a margarita and all will be good. Hopefully Bonnie will have the kids bathed (since Maysen LOVES to take a bath in their garden tub) and he’ll fall asleep on the way home.

Big Brother is on tonight again and I am hoping that James gets evicted. I absolutely *loved* the twist that Ryan threw on the crew. Well, if no one watches then you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about!

Oh, and here are some pics I got of the boys today on Maysen’s bed. I had to use the “Stop like the red light” to keep him still. Whatever works, eh?

Bubbleland

It was another big bubble day in our household on Saturday. This is what happens when you put mondo bubble bath in a jetted tub. Maysen was in hog heaven – there was about 2ft of bubbles. It was too great to not take pictures of this moment. I won’t show the nudie shots I got of Nate *wink*.

This week has been great as far as weather is concerned. We got a lot of our weeding done in the last few days. The rain and chilly air is about to settle back in for another week, so it felt good getting it done. It also felt good to get the windows open and get some fresh air in the house.

Friday we’re taking Maysen to see Horton Hears a Who while Grandma keeps Griffin for the afternoon. I am loving Nathan having Friday afternoons off.

Peace offering: Trade popsicle for our freedom. (hehe) I was watching Supernanny the other day and I made a keen observation: Why is it that all the families she goes to have really nice homes? They all have the stainless steel, marble counters, big house. You never see Jo whipping up to the trailer house down in the South with 27 kids blowing out every window to greet her while the hounds howl at her. Just …. Interesting. Having said that, does anyone feel like they could be a Supernanny contestant about every other day? I know I do!

And this is what we find after a night of "I don't want to go to sleep". It was quite a feat trying to get him out from under the bed!!

Big Brother is on ....gotta go. Hey - priorities! Is anyone else watching??

Just in time ...

Timing is everything. This picture was taken at just the right moment – the milliseconds right before the bubble is popped. Can’t be more exact!

Yesterday was Griffin’s 2 mo check-up. I am pleased to say that everything was very very good!!! Since giving his Phenobarbital only at night, he is completely a different kid. He holds his head up, sits up, likes to try and stand, kicks his legs to stand up, talks, sings, and smiles all the time. Everything was right on track! Dr Pelinka said she couldn’t have been happier.

He got 3 shots, which didn’t go well. The nurse that came in to do them did them how I hate: slow. When you have a baby who has to get multiple shots, you don’t do it SLOW! Get those babies ready like shooting darts. I about came out of my skin! There was nothing incorrect about her technique – just that she didn’t do it fast enough. After we got home yesterday, he continued to scream when he moved his legs or if you touched them. Poor baby! So I kept Tylenol and Ibuprofen going round the clock and today he’s fine. He’s a tall boy, that’s for sure. I think Maysen is going to look more like my side: short and stubby, whereas Griffin seems to be more on the lean/tall side. His weight was 11lb 7oz (50th percentile) and he was 24.5 inches tall (92nd percentile).

Nate got his pride rubbed again yesterday. I have to say that he is turning out to be a very demanded programmer. M, one of the leads at Weyerhaeuser, approached Nate yesterday to see if he would consider taking a “more senior” position near Seattle for the company. Nate is already a Software Developer II, which normally requires 5+ years of experience and he only has 1.5 years. This job near Seattle would be a Software Developer III position and for a lot more $$$/yr. However, we are content here and so Nate told M that he would consider anything, but was happy here. It was just a shock!

Today we visited Bob and Bonnie for a bit. Bonnie is a very talented artist and she's currently painting the above picture (sorry it's grainy - used the camera on my phone) of Maysen when he was on the Polar Express train this past November. You can see the actual picture just to the left of the painting. She is just in the beginning phase of the painting, but I'm already blown away. I'll keep posting progression.

Have a great, bubbly weekend!

What?!

Fin's got to be teething. Perfect alignment for bottom incisors, reacts to anti-inflammatory and ice. I'm going to have a 2mo with bilateral incisors broken through in a week. Wow. (this of course needs to be backed up by my pediatrician whom I see tomorrow)

Poor Nate's dealing with a whopper of a teething storm out there tonight. Something about the silhouette of a grown man rocking back and forth with hips swaying, humming to a baby to get a woman's heart. *tear* I'll let you know what Dr P says about Griffin's 2 month well-baby check!

Swing Away

This was worth every $$ we put into buying this thing. It swings both side-to-side as well as front-to-back. For the longest time we had it swinging sideways and he didn't care for it that much. Now you can't get him out of this thing (as you can tell by his beaming smile). And in fact if I need to get something done I put him in this and he's out like a light a few minutes later. Such a great invention.

I've been battling with boredom the last few days. You see, after being well for a week (because we were in California), the kids are BACK to being sick. The problem is that Maysen goes to school, and although I've asked the teacher to call me if the other kids have been sick the 2 previous days (mon,tues), she never called me to tell me that all the kids were coughing when Maysen went back to school last wednesday. 48hrs later, Maysen has the cold/cough back. That means = 48hrs later Griffin has it, too. He's so susceptible to germs. Maysen acts fine although he's hacking up a lung and his nose is running so much his sleeve is wet (you get the picture). Because of this, none of us have been outside the house in 3 days. Today the sun is shining bright and I haven't had fresh air since Saturday. Maysen might be OK but right now Griffin just has the snot part of the cold and I DO NOT want him getting the lung/cough/RSV part.

Because we've decided that if Griffin gets "really" sick again because of this, we'll reluctantly have to pull Maysen out of school. But how many cartoons can one handle? If he's not watching cartoons/plopped in front of the TV, then he's absolutely destroying the house! Tomorrow is supposed to be really nice, with highs in the low 60sF and no clouds! I am hoping that at least I can get Mase outside and let Griffin sleep inside. I keep thinking I'm so thankful that I am not really working right now because I'd for sure be fired ... no one would believe me that my kids were this sick! Thankfully, I can give Maysen Benadryl because he's so snotty and not feel guilty about it! Benadryl is a wonderful (sedating) drug ... hehe.

The last 2 nights Griffin has been very colicky, which Maysen had at 2 months of age. He starts being really fussy at 6:00pm with little comfort. The problem is, is that he's kept himself up almost all afternoon, so by then he's over exhausted and can't go/stay asleep. Last night was the worst. We noticed 2 lumps on his lower gums on the sides, almost like he's teething molars ... but it's WAY to early for that. He did calm down when we rubbed them, and so I gave Tylenol. Luckily he went to sleep around 9:30 and slept until 5:00am.

This is The Potty Jar I created and it has been very successful. Only ONE accident since Saturday, which I think is great. Right now the "prize" of filling the jar has ranged from swimming to going to get ice cream to baking brownies. In fact changing it up keeps him motivated day by day until it's full.

Did any one else realize that Easter is way early this year? I need to get Easter Baskets ready!

caroustore

I thought this picture turned out pretty wicked. I took it on the Wharf in San Fran while Dad and Maysen were on the carousel. It is the reflection of the carousel in the storefront window. It’s pretty abstract if you ask me, however perfectly clear if you put your mind to dividing the two images.

The last couple of nights I’ve been catching up on a lot of sleep, sleeping about 12hrs each night the past 2 days. I have needed it as I about had a total meltdown on Thursday. This stay-at-home mom stuff is almost overwhelming! I love every second, but when you only get 2hrs of sleep at night because you have a sick boy and a newborn then “wake” up the next morning and deal with nothing but 100mph 3yr old and the demands of a newborn – it can get very overwhelming fast. So, I’m feeling much better having gotten some good sleep over the last few days, thanks to my great husband! I think he knew I was serious when I told him I wanted to go back to work just to get a break!

Not only is the demand of a newborn/no sleep/3yr old/etc/etc/etc overwhelming sometimes, take the 100mph 3yr old and add POTTY TRAINING to the mix. Yeah right! I’ve tried EVERYTHING under the sun. He’ll do great one day, telling me every time with no accidents, then the next day he’s a whole different kid. We’ve tried sticker charts, we’ve tried M&Ms with successful trips, we’ve tried Potty Dance/Praise. Nothing. So, tonight on yet another attempt at trying to get something to work, the Potty Jar and Potty Rocks were born. He has a special jar and every time he goes in the toilet, he gets to add a Potty Rock to the jar (decorative colored rocks in the craft section of any dept store). Once the jar is filled up (not a very big jar) we get to go swimming, zoo, ice cream store, or whatever treat we’re working toward. So far it’s working great! He’s gone 4 times and is even sleeping with his “new friend, my Potty Jar”. We’ll see! Any other ideas would be great!

Otherwise, we’ve haven’t done a lot. Today we went and decorated Nate’s office at Weyerhaeuser. He’s got a huge space and it was great to get his pictures and UofO paraphernalia up. He’s back “home” now.

Have a great weekend!

long one

We decided that we’d have pictures of me and our kids (boys) when they were 6wks old. So far these are the 2 we have, and they’ve turned out really well I think. Just me and my boys. Nothing better.

We got back from California on Friday. We had a great time! We got to California on Tuesday evening, which I about got arrested. We stopped in Willows, CA and I started walking Bailey in an unauthorized area, and some manager came out screaming she was going to call the police on me. Oops!

Wednesday was a beautiful day, and so we rode the ferry to San Francisco. Maysen loved the ‘big boat’ and 'special train car' (trolley car) we got to ride on. He had a minding issue while we were waiting to load the tour boat that was going to take us to tour Alcatraz. The picture below is after I told him “not to touch the water”. Uh huh. Remind you of Nate, mom?

And here is Alcatraz ... I didn't know that before it was a prison, it was actually a fortress. Then the indians occupied it during the 60s-70s. Now it's a National Park.

Alcatraz was very neat. I love history anyway, so seeing the place that I once saw on Unsolved Mystery as a kid was great. They gave everyone Walkmans that you could listen to the Audio Tour at your own leisure and it worked out great. It was just a very mystical place.

The rooms in this place are amazingly small. I know, it's a jail cell, Leslie. But seeing it was a shocker. Sitting in that thing for years on end would drive me out of my mind!

Grandma Jo bought Maysen a harmonica and he entertained crowds of people with his new-found talent of harmonica playing. All he needed was the Tip-Hat. Griffin was in the stroller, so he slept most of the time. Poor kid hated his car seat by the time he got home. Our stroller sits his car seat in it, so he was in that car seat most of the time.

Maysen chased the birds until his feet were about to fall off. That didn't stop him from running from us on the boat back to San Fran, either. Once we were all on the boat, I dropped his hand for a second to see where everyone was going. In that split second, he disappeared. Scared the life out of me! People were just staring at us while we asked for help in finding him. My fear was that someone had walked off with him. But, alas, here he comes waltzing around the corner wondering what the big stir was about.

Afterward we walked the Wharf and saw the sea lions. Dad and Maysen rode the carousel, which Maysen loved. It was a rip off, but what isn’t these days? As we rode the ferry back, we saw the moon eclipse and that surprised us as we didn't realize one was supposed to happen that night. It was beautiful sailing away on the ferry looking back at the city at dusk with the eclipse happening. It was great.

Thursday was a wet and windy day. We relaxed and Maysen helped grandma Jo make pie and then he did his favorite thing: play with the “boodies” (birds), Pacho and “Chacho” (Nacho). He loves those stinkin’ birds.

We had our taxes done yesterday. Man we can’t catch a break! Besides all these medical bills we have from me having pre-eclampsia and in the hospital, delivery, Griffin sick in the NICU, Nate hospitalized … we just found out we owe $3,400 in taxes this year. We’re taking donations (kidding!). Sheesh … when it rains it pours around here. This past year has been tough on just about everyone I know!

And last but not least, we got the results on Fin's EEG done at OHSU. It was read as "mildly abnormal". Luckily there was no seizures noted or anything like that, but what was noted was that he had a "lower seizure threshold" in his left hemisphere, meaning that it's not as protected against seizures (if they were to occur) than his right hemisphere. Because of that, Dr Koch is not going to taper him off his phenobarbital as soon. He is going to let his body outgrow the dose he's on now (keeping him on it and not increasing the dose as he grows) and then we'll do another EEG/MRI in May when we see him again. This abnormality is "normal" in about 20% of kids, and is usually outgrown by the age of 5. This could have been his problem all along - the fact he has this lower threshold and then he got really sick/high fever, his body just gave way. He's still doing great now, only waking once to eat at night and that's at 5:30am! *knock on wood*

Mmmmm...

Today was gorgeous! It was just over 60 degrees and the sun was shining bright in the blue sky! We also grilled burgers and I got a hint of spring as the aroma of BBQ drifted through the open screen door and windows. What would have made it more perfect is if someone would have been mowing. Ahhh, spring is on it's way.

We're heading to California tomorrow to visit my dad and stepmom. I'm looking forward to going to San Francisco and riding the trolley cars! Not to mention having Dad and Jo squeeze on Griffin and Maysen is already looking forward to tractor rides with Grandpa. Have a good week!

Poor Bay :-(

Today the boys went on a walk with Bailey to the park. On the way home, they walked the normal way and past the “colorful” house with the loud dogs with Maysen riding on Nate’s shoulders. Out of nowhere, 2 pitbulls were behind Nate and surrounding Bailey and immediately started attacking her. Instinctively, Nate kicked one dog and yelled at them to go back into the yard. Thank God they did. There are a few other situations in my wandering mind that could have happened. One being that the dogs didn’t stop and killed Bailey, as Nate wasn’t going to put Maysen down off his shoulders and help; Another being that they turned on Nate and attacked him.

Nate went up and knocked on the door. It was answered by one of the 3 unattended children. When the mother finally came to the door (awakened from her nap), she blamed the children for them being out. Later, we called the police and they came and took a report. They informed us that the family was going to be fined $1500. I am not out to “get’ this family – but I am fearful to walk past that house again and am scared for the multiple kids I see living/playing around that house. I also am so thankful that it was Bailey walking beside Nate this afternoon – not Maysen. I can’t even begin to think that way … Maysen said when he got home "Those mean puppies bite Bay?"

Bailey's OK. She had about 6 really deep puncture wounds. She seems sore in some places, especially a really swollen area on her back. I'm concerned that vet bills may arise as I'm fearful a Addisonian Crisis may occur since Bay has Addison's Disease. This family doesn't seem to be the type who would financially take care of that if they needed to, so could get ugly. Judge Judy here we come!!

Big Day at OHSU

Let me back up to yesterday at 1pm when we met with Dr Herbert re: Fin's RSV. She said he was doing actually better - although still a bit tight in the chest. Reluctantly, she let us go. We headed up to Portland in anticipation of this morning's meeting with Dr Koch.

The appointment went really well. In a nutshell, he said:

• Griffin's MRI is really an unreliable tool in diagnosis basically becuase MRIs on brains that small are so hard to perform/read. Their brains are so underdeveloped, there's a greater amount of water in the brain than a normal adult brain, and angles on a brain that small can make things appear that aren't truly there. What they DID see that was read as an abnormality looked appropriate for the infectious process that he had.
• Developmentally, Griffin is right on target - if not more advanced for his age.
• He is combining Griffin's phenobarbital to only be given once a day instead of twice - and at night so he'll sleep all night. With that said, he said he was comfortable tapering him off Phenobarbital starting the first week of March, if the EEG done today proves normal. Unfortunately, the tapering process takes 6 weeks to do. So, we'll be done with Phenobarbital by April 21st.
• Griffin had a repeat EEG after all of his seizing activity in the hospital. The fact that it was completely normal 4 days later was amazing because if he had a major problem, despite phenobarbital, there would still be some brain (not physical) activity on the EEG 4 days later. This is reassuring.
• We are doing a follow-up MRI but we're doing it when his brain is more developed at 5-6mo old. The older the brain, the more reliable the image.

Dr Koch was very reassuring and confident. He was a spitting image of Dustin Hoffman in Meet the Fockers - it was great! I'm very thankful Nate's mom came with us - just the extra support was nice. We stayed in the Marriott downtown and man that was a nice place!! We parked Valet and I used to think the extra $ it cost was just a waste of money ... but it really is worth every dime!

Nate gave his notice and because he works on an assignment-basis, they told him he didn't need to stay 2 weeks. So he's taking next week off and starting the following Monday at Weyerhaeuser. We might head to California to visit my dad and Jo while he's off. They haven't gotten to really see Griffin, as the day they came to see him we were admitted to the NICU.

I'm fried right now and so I'm taking a hot shower and going to bed. Thank you all to the thoughts and prayers. It seems they've been answered and there is a major weight off my shoulders!

Happy Valentines Day!

Hearts, chocolate, cupid, cheap sugar hearts with random cute sayings imprinted (usually sideways) on them = Valentines Day. I hope that you got warm fuzzies today from someone.

We have entered another Chapter in the Saga 'o Griffin. On Sunday Maysen got (another) cold. Although we made him wash, wash, wash it didn't help. Last night Griffin began to not breathe real well. He was starting to wheeze and grunt and wouldn't eat. Through the night didn't sleep and eating became even more work. So I took him to the doctor today who diagnosed him with severe RSV. She immediately said he needed to be back in the hospital. GREAT. Upon talking with her and reminding her that we are heading to Portland tomorrow afternoon for our OHSU appt on Friday, we decided to try some breathing treatments but she wanted to see him again tonight and if he wasn't better/worse she was admitting him. After FINALLY getting the Albuterol to put in the nebulizer machine and giving him a treatment I noticed a big difference. He no longer grunted, no nasal flaring, no color changes, and ate 3oz right off the bat. We went back in at 6pm to see her and although he didn't sound any better in the lungs, because he was acting better she decided to let him come home with orders to go to ER or call her if he got bad/worse. She does want to see him one more time before we leave town tomorrow, so we'll be doing that.

On a good note: Nathan got offered a job at Weyerhaeuser today. It's more $$$ than his current job, benefits are WAAAAY better, and retirement perks are so good that we'll (he'll) be set for a long time, not to mention that they'll reimburse him for tuition he paid for getting his degree. Oh - and if we want to adopt a baby someday, they'll help with the finances of that. What a great company. I'm proud of him: it's been his goal to finally get to work there. I'm proud they tracked him down upon getting the OK to hire someone even though Nate's been gone for almost a year. I'm proud that he's getting to do what he wants to do....

I got my warm fuzzies today: A Dust Buster. Don't ask ... it's a problem I have!

Happy Chocolate Day! (that's what the real name should be!)

Clarifications:

Note in the picture in post below of Maysen and my comment of "Glimpse into the future". You have to note he's wearing mommy's stethoscope - and I'm hoping perhaps someday he'll be a doctor. He's always saying "No! I the doctor!!"

Also, the Alli pills "help" ... but you have to do the majority of the work yourself (ie: eat right, exercise). You can't just pop it and expect to shed the weight. It's just a boost. We'll see if it continues to work ...

blab

Doesn’t he look … cozy? And very snuggly, by the way! Wouldn’t you know all the batteries were out of my camera for Bunko, but it was a blast. I feel like we’re a bunch of drunken sailors when we get together. Just a rowdy bunch … within reason. It’s a nice break to get away.

Is this a glimpse into the future? God, I hope so!!

This is my nephew, Jonas, driving Maysen’s racecar. They had a great time! Once Jonas got the hang of how to drive it he had a blast. He did end his trip, however, running straight into the back of his mommy’s van! That was when we just had to put up the racecar – our deductible is too high!

Speaking of dedictables, I’m battling the insurance company. Well, not really battling I just can’t get them to call me back. We reached our max out of pocket pay for 2007 and I’m still getting bills. So I call to go over why and compare what we have paid and what they have. Well, TWICE I’ve gotten “our computer system for that part is down, let me gather all the data and I’ll call you back.” Still … nothing. I’m not paying another bill until we get it straight.

Today we went to SPLASH, the indoor wavepool. Maysen is really loving water as he gets older. Nate and Mase had a great time! It wore both of them out, which is good. The weather was nice today – sunny and almost 60 so it felt good to get out. Tomorrow after the boys get haircuts, we’re going bowling!

Nathan has a phone interview with Weyerhaeuser on Monday. I’m not sure what God’s plan is right now. I have to keep remembering to be thankful that he's been blessed with having so many job opportunities vs not having employment, but it's frustrating, too. Nate left Weyerhaeuser in June because his contract was up and Nate really wanted a permanent job. He got a job at RealPro and although he really liked it, health insurance was $750/mo out of pocket and he wasn’t really developing like he’d like to – no freedom on projects. So, after only working there for 6mo he left and started working Jan 15th at Industrial Publishing. He really likes it there and is completely free to develop how he wants – he architects his own sites and makes his own calls, which he loves. Then, 2 weeks ago, Weyerhaeuser calls him and asks him to apply for the permanent position opening for the Denver, CO opening. See, in June when he left, Denver offered him a job sight-unseen. We didn’t want to move to Colorado so we declined. They’ve now decided that Nate could work from here FOR the Denver office. Nate struggles with wanting to be a loyal employee and hates the idea of having to tell Industrial Publishing he'll be leaving. However, if they’ll pay him more money and/or benefits are better he’d have to. You have to look out for #1 – and his true love has been working for Weyerhaeuser. He really enjoys building desktop software vs web development.

So, I’m trying the FDA Approved Weight loss pills Alli. I was skeptical, but they really are working! I was scared reading “oily anal leakage and/or diarrhea” as a side-effect but *knock on wood* have not had anything like that. Not even abdominal pain. How it works is that a portion of fat from food at your meals bonds to Alli and it is eliminated from the body before it is absorbed. You have to eat a low-fat diet and exercise for max effectiveness. I’ll keep you updated on how happy I am with it.

BUNKO!

We had professional pictures done this past weekend. With the combo of Jenn and I both with professional cameras, I swore that I wouldn't do this. However, we had them done with Maysen and we have a big wall picture of Maysen and I very similar to this, and vowed to do one with every baby. So here are some that turned out pretty cool. The feet on the bottom are actually Griffin and Nate's feet. We did that with Nate and Maysen, too. I also finally got Fin's birth announcements in the mail last night, so I got them all addressed and in the mail today. Gee, what's got me going??



Tonight I am playing BUNKO with acouple of girls from work. I started going a few months back before I got too miserable being pregnant and what a hoot!!! The game itself is pretty effortless and ... I wouldn't say "boring" but there's really no point to the game. But the girls we play with are hilarious and it's fun to get out of the house once a month and be a normal person. Some of the girls take this game pretty serious, too, so that's fun to watch. It's a bunch of women throwing dice hoping for pairs. Woop. I plan on getting some good pictures tonight, so stay tuned! And I haven't had alcohol in almost a year, so wine is sounding pretty darn good right now!

Griffin is doing great! Dr Pelinka and I talked and we are not going to increase his pheno dose until we see the docs at OHSU. His trough level looked good, so we're leaving it until then. Our appointment date is still Feb 15th .. I'm getting anxious!

This is the picture we chose to put beside Maysen's picture in our bedroom. It was the best out of all that were taken. I love that his eyes are open! He'll be 6wks old tomorrow. Can you believe it!?

More Loops

Griffin’s doing well now. He currently weighs 9lb 10oz. He’s over the respiratory stuff for the most part (thank the Lord!). Dr Pelinka got word from Dr Goins and I’ll try and make this as least complicated as I can:

When being discharged from the NICU, Dr Goins stated he was going to send his MRI to University of California to be read by a neuro-radiologist down there. Since then we haven’t heard anything. Dr Pelinka emailed him to see if we needed to increase his medication and to inquire about the MRI. Apparently, California had a different opinion on Fin’s MRI. They labeled a diagnosis of periventricular leukomalacia. A diagnosis like that usually means a prolonged period of no oxygen in a really premature baby, which hasn’t ever been the case for Griffin. That differs from what Dr Goins believes his MRI says … which differs from what OHSU said they think his MRI looks like. So, we now have THREE different opinons from 3 doctors.

Dr Pelinka admits that she isn’t real clear on what exactly Dr Goins’ diagnosis is, nor is she clear on the diagnosis given by the University of California. She is going to consult with Dr Goins next week to get a clearer picture as to his insights and Californias’ (as Dr Goins talked with California).

I increased his medication last night I have to express how terribly hard this is for me. I know that this medication is protecting his brain from any further seizures. Dr Goins is so passionate on keeping him on this so long because he has seen cases where kids who have an illness/seizures like this at a young age, when not treated in an aggressive manner, can develop a very dangerous form of epilepsy later in life – so dangerous that medications don’t help. I hate when we have to increase his meds because just when he’s getting used to his dose, interacting, moving, staying up longer, reactive … then we have to increase his dose and he goes back to being really sleepy. I feel almost neglectful in a way to be giving it – to see what it does to him.

I need continued thoughts and strength. I can’t he lp but feel that I’ve been cheated. Cheated in my time with my newborn – time that was stolen by worry, exhaustion, stress, frustration, fear, sadness. Don’t get me wrong. I love my son – and so thankful for now he’s healthy. Right now we’re in protection-mode with his meds but at the same time I want MY SON (med-free) back. I want to feel like I did the 6 days I had him home prior to getting sick. I feel like forever I will be worried at every illness, every quiet moment, every learning snag .. wondering if “THIS” was caused by his illness. I should be feeling fortunate that this is “all” that’s wrong with him.

On top of this all, my doctor call and I have strep throat. And I thought it was life catching up to me making me so exhausted.

Here we go again ...

Griffin has Maysen's cold - and it got scary today. You know how an old man sounds when he's got all kinds of crap in their throat that you know they need a good hack just to get it all out? Or as we nurses would do - get out the suction and give it a good go. It just is all rattling around and sounds horrible? Well, Fin has sounded like that off and on for the last few days, but this afternoon it sounded like that every breath. He started waking himself up because it was so bad - and then when I tried to feed him at 5pm he couldn't even eat because it was inhibiting it. He was starting to cry at weird things, have rapid breathing spells, and using his tummy muscles to breathe, so I called the office and they told us to bring him in ... right then! So, Nate was on his way home from work and when he got home, we turned around and went in. The doctor who was doing the "late" clinic tonight was Dr Unger (the pediatrician who works at the clinic I used to work - and the pediatrician we left to start seeing Dr Pelinka). He was very nice and professional. He suctioned a lot of junk out of him - but his lungs were still wheezy. He said that he was sure he had RSV (respiratory virus that can be pretty serious in babies) but the treatment is pretty symptomatic. They used to treat it with inhalers (Maysen had it when he was 4mo old and used an inhaler) ... but he said now they say it's not needed. He told us to pour saline down his nose and use the suction bulb as much as we can try and keep him as clear as possible.

Tonight he's been pretty fussy on and off. He acts as though he's starving, yet you feed him and he barely eats a thing. Then he'll cry. So I wrapped him up good and tight and he's down right now. Tonight I have him in the bassinet beside me elevated on a pillow inside to keep him up.

Dr Unger said he wants Griffin to see Dr Pelinka tomorrow to follow up and so she can see how he's doing. I said "Tomorrow!?" and he said that with his history, this virus, things can turn south fast. So ... I guess we'll be going back to the doctor tomorrow. *sigh*.

If this turns out to be a bad illness, like if Griffin ends up in the hospital, I think I'm just going to take Maysen out of school until next fall. I can't jeopardize Griffins' health anymore - and that school is filled with nothing but illness right now and will be until late spring. I can't do this every couple of weeks. Our hands are all cracked with dryness due to washing and in our little 1400sq ft house with it frigid outside, we're all bound to share germs, despite our efforts.

Rambling

Griffin saw Dr Pelinka yesterday for the last repeat follow-up until his 2mo check. His Phenobarbital level was 19 (goal level is in the 20s) so she has an email out to Dr Goins (pediatric neuro) to see what his opinion is about adjusting Fin’s dose. She also is inquiring about what the University of California (SF) had to say about Griffin’s MRI. Dr Goins sent it down there to be read by a pro pediatric neurologist – but it was sent down there the day he was discharged from the NICU and we still haven’t heard anything. So, hopefully he’ll respond to Dr Pelinka’s question.

His tone looked great! Last time his legs weren’t spontaneously kicking around, and this time they were, so she was encouraged. At home, he totally can do the things they look for - lifting his head, attempting to roll over, kicking legs all around. So, I asked if sometimes babies are just “that way” without any neurological problems. She said absolutely – her son was that way. So these “slow tone” in his extremities might not mean a thing! I had decided I would start video taping him and his responses (such as him moving his legs, lifting his head) because those are things they look for at OHSU and I am scared we get up there and Fin’s just relaxed and doesn’t do those things – then they’ll think “Hmmm, slow tone!” I got our hotel reserved for the night before so we can take things slow the morning of the appointment and no stress that day.

Dr Pelinka will be out of the country from Feb 8-18 so she won’t be directly involved with OHSU while that goes down, but Dr Herbert will be. She was the one initially who admitted Fin and was involved in his care at the beginning so we’re pretty involved with her, too, and comfortable with her handling things once we go until Dr Herbert comes back.

So my last post explained that Maysen was throwing up … well, Sunday night Nathan got sick. He took off Monday to recoup and also that the weather wasn’t so great to travel into work in the morning. Last night at 3am I woke up throwing up and was stunned when Nathan said he’d stay home from work again today to take care of me and the kids. I’ve slept much of the day and am starting to feel better. I’m tempted to keep Maysen home this week to get him (and everyone) well. If he brings another virus home I’m going to die…

I’m starting to help my sis-in-law with the Cr. Christian School auction that she puts on every year to help raise money to build a new building. It’s my first year helping and my task is getting the catering all figured out. So that’s my plan this week.

Hope everyone is staying well…