When I started this blog 9 years ago (I can hardly believe I've been yapping on this thing for 9 years) I did it for two reasons. For one, I wanted to document the times in my life that seemed to be going by so fast. I knew in my heart that I would not remember the finest details to such treasured moments, even with the best of memory. I also knew that age would fade those memories and I wanted to be able to relive them. I regret that as life sped up, time also snuck away from me.
It's only natural as we get older that things change. I've got to tell you that that lately I've been having a hard lesson in reality lately. I have two things pulling against me. One, my boys are just getting older. Two, they're boys. The natural progression of both of these things is that as they age, they find other things to occupy their time and no longer does it require me. Five years ago I would have sighed with relief. Today? I weep with bittersweetness. I struggle to find things that connect me with them.
Maysen, although gentle at heart, he is always on the go. He is very interested in guns and games that contain such violence I cringe, so therefore that stuff is not allowed in the house. We fight about that daily. He reminds me so much of myself. I can remember hearing my mom say, "You want to grow up so fast!" Maysen is 11 going on 18 and really wishes he was 18. In fact, most of our time it seems we spend arguing about why I've said "No, you can't play Call of Duty." We argue so much I fight not resenting it.
Griffin is my quiet soul though he does play off his brother. It's like watching 2 dogs into a fight, it's easy for more to just join. He will argue about getting more apps downloaded on his iPad and fighting with how much computer time he gets. I still get my cuddles and requests for snuggles from him, though.
This weekend, we forced the boys to get off any and all "monitors" and it was a struggle. We laid in bed and talked about our favorite summer-time memories. That led to me getting out the old computer and we looked through this old blog. We laughed at things I wrote, pictures from the past, and stories until all 4 of our tummies hurt. It felt good. We felt like a family - not pieces of a puzzle all doing their own thing, which is our normal lately.
That.
That is why I write this blog. So each of us, each piece of the Scovil puzzle, can come together and be whole again. We used to laugh. A lot! If you've read even one year of stories from this blog you will see that we've had great times together. But we're all aging. I'm thankful I have a place I can turn to and remember what it's all about.
Here was a great memory from this weekend. Such fun discovering this little gem of an app on my computer.
I love these boys with all my heart. I'm so proud of the rascals they're becoming.
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